Sunday, September 4, 2011

From the Department of Bushwa

The acronym BUS stands for a lot of things. Basic Urban Services; Building Use Studies; Bargaining Unit Status; Brown University Swimming; and Boston University Shuttle, to name a few.
I’d like to add one more entity to the list. Read on for more (pointless) information…
Yesterday while driving home from grocery shopping, my husband and I got into a discussion about the relative nutritional value of chicken at KFC compared to a mini muffin (I’m scratching my head trying to remember what, exactly, prompted the conversation…).
Anyway, the conversation included Gary saying, “You really don’t think they shoot their chicken full of chemicals and ….”
To which I said, “Maybe now they do, but I’m sure it didn’t start out that way. When Colonel Sanders started, it was probably just breaded, fried chicken.”
This prompted Gary to say, “Well, anyway, Harland Sanders lived to be 90, I think. Yes, 90. He died in 1980. He lived from 1890 to 1980.”
Okay, I’m richer for knowing that, I guess….
We continued on, eventually passing a McDonalds. When we did, Gary offered up this jewel: “Look, Daph, you can see the sign advertising the Tuesday special meal deal.”
Why does he know that it’s only on Tuesdays and since we almost never go there, why does he know about this special meal deal at all and what makes him think I care about it?
Whatever. I don’t care that he knows about it nor do I care if he goes to get it and since I married him for better or for worse, I’ll listen to him prattle on….
Truth is, I’m completely amazed by and caught up in his knowledge of utterly random, inconsequential information.
For the record, Gary works at BLS – the Bureau of Labor Statistics (which is a division of the Federal Labor Department) and he’s quite invested in his job. Heaven knows however, that the government collects all kinds of data that, when released, makes us wonder, “What were they thinking when they commissioned this study?”
I think they need a new agency called BUS – the Bureau of Useless Statistics. Should they ever create such a group, I’m going to recommend Gary for the job of commissioner.
What unimportant information do you pride yourself on having and sharing?

1 comment:

  1. I thought they already had a Bureau of Useless Statistics??? Well--okay--I didn't THINK they had one--but they sure do seem to gather a bunch of useless info, don't they?

    What a great post :) I will say, I could never be employed by one of the BUS agencies--as I can't remember useless stuff, let alone important stuff--oh wait!!! I gotta cut this short, I'm burning dinner!!

    Cheers, Jenn