Friday, November 11, 2011

You Can’t Tell a Man by His …

I’m either the best daughter-in-law ever or I’m certifiable. You decide.
Next February my mother-in-law will celebrate her 70th birthday. As a gift for her milestone birthday, Gary and I are going on a week-long Caribbean vacation with her.
I could end this blog post right here, right now, because I’d be willing to guess that for some of my readers, the very idea of spending a week with your mother-in-law makes you laugh out loud. Alternatively it makes you break out in hives…
I’d like to point out that this trip was my idea. As I said, I’m either the best daughter-in-law ever or I’m certifiable.
Truth be told, I’m really lucky. My mother-in-law is pretty hip. Even so, a week with her will probably feel long.
But I digress….
Once we decided on this “gift” for her, the question was where to go?
One of my favorite places to go in the Caribbean is St. Maarten. Being ½ Dutch and ½ French, the 33½-square-mile island is a mini wonderland. On the Dutch side you have casinos, nightclubs and an Orthodox rabbi and on the French side you have an enclosed butterfly habitat, grocery stores with every kind of pâté you could ever want and … a nudist resort complete with beach (
The resort is private, but the beach is public. Fear not, pictures are prohibited.
On our first trip to St. Maarten in 2009, Gary and I stayed on the Dutch side at a timeshare property (We rent. Owning is just not for us.) complete with pool, despite being situated right on the ocean. Even so, we couldn't not sunbathe on the French side at least once, right?
Our routine was as follows: Beach during the day and pool in the evening, followed by a good long soak in the Jacuzzi tub on the balcony of our unit, which, to my chagrin, turned my skin a delightful shade of green. Lest you worry, it did wear off eventually, but not before we went to Orient Beach.
Yep, we went – twice, I think, if not more.
While there on one occasion, I took a walk on the beach and saw a naked guy who looked familiar, but I couldn't quite place him. I said hello and he politely greeted me in return, but I was vexed. Who was he? Where had we seen each other before?
Later that evening, I figured out who he was. ‘Round about the same time he and his family showed up – fully clothed – to swim in the timeshare pool …
“Oh, that’s who you are! I talked with you at length last night,” I said to myself, adding, “It probably wasn't smart for me to think that I could discern who you were by looking at your ….”
The upshot is that we’re taking my mother-in-law to St. Croix.

Written for The Writers’ Post weekly blog hop #22. Theme: Vacation!


  1. Slightly awkward. Have fun with your mother-in-law.


  2. Oh Daphne!! You are so funny!! LOLOL! I think your Mom-in-law will love St. Croix!! Great post-you have me laughing :) Jenn

  3. TOO funny!

    Oh, and I truly loved my mother-in-law, but I never vacationed with her any longer than a weekend trip...and that was long enough. ;O)

  4. LMAO, oh that is funny!! I bet THAT was a focal point!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOL


  5. I dunno...I think I would give her a choice. She might want one last look at...erm....St. Maarten?

    Way funny!

  6. Hmmm...I think it might be kind of fun to see your hip mother-in-law's reaction to that beach!

  7. Some mothers-in-law really do rawk. My roomy invites his to go everywhere we go. She usually says she'd rather not, but every now and again, she says YES and off we go! I love traveling with her, she's a lot of fun.
    I'm sure you'll have a great time and I had a good laugh!